First blog post

Mind blank…

Does anyone else feel like they’re bursting with ideas, thoughts and stories to write yet when it comes to the time of sitting in front of a pen and paper or a keyboard and a screen you never know where to begin?

So as for being a first post I guess an introduction is almost compulsory? I’ve swayed back and forth about writing a blog, my minds full of weird and wonderful thoughts however, I’m not one to feel anyone has any sign of interest in my life so what’s the point?

I feel this sentence should start with “but” yet you can’t start a sentence with “but” this drives me insane!!! WHY? I feel it suits so much better!!!

Thinking about everything there is to talk about during that dreaded stuck in the middle age of 17 I’ve began to realise how everyone at this age can relate to every single struggle you have to face and why it is most certainly THE worst age to be. Possibly a slightly over dramatic statement. 

Every one of my friends has been turning 18 recently, it’s as if I’m being punished. Being 18 comes great responsibility of adulthood and turning into more of an independent person. Obviously though my moaning is in relation to alcohol and nights out. At 18 you’re able to have a night out uptown, in a pub quite frankly anywhere without any bother as you’re now legal to do so.  Being a Christmas born baby and having to watch all my friends do these things without me is even worse than you could imagine.

Things to do at age 17

-Legally drive most vehicles with a license

In other words yes go spend over £500 on driving lessons and test, stress out to the max that you can’t do it then potentially pass £62 later to own a car end up with even less money than you had after lessons.

However apparently It’s not all that bad. I was reading over a post a few days back about a woman writing to her 17 year old self and it just reminded me how good it is to be young.

Link attached to post~ read it you won’t regret it

Thinking of all the amazing things still to happen in my life after the age of 17 never fails to light my face up. I’m still so young and I’ve still got so much more living to do, Sometimes I just need a little motivation to help me appreciate that in this exact moment I’ll never get any younger, so live life to the absolute fullest.

Eat the bar of chocolate you’ve sat and thought about for the past 15 minutes, Go to the gym if you feel like it and forget about it when its the biggest dread in your mind. Smile to people you encounter in the day it might just make theirs. Most importantly don’t live your life worrying about the consequences.

Simply just enjoy being Young, living Wild and setting yourself Free.

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/17-things-tell-17-year-old-self/653206/

Head or Heart?

Recently I’ve been stuck in two minds whether to follow my head and do whats best for me and the future. Or go with my heart and jump at the chance to fall back in love all over again.

Being so young I feel like the world is my oyster, yet I’m being rushed into a decision that honestly I have no idea whats the best choice. I fell in love a long time ago to have my heart broken. You was my first love and my first heartbreak, but most importantly you were my bestfriend. We swayed back and forth for months on end being together, being apart and everything in between and we were yet to see things pick up and begin to work again. I’ve always wanted that relationship back, it was the one that was most important to me, yeah there’s been guys in between and guys long before you but once I had fallen in love everything else became a blur. I knew you were my person.

I think towards the end that love disappeared for you and you began to realise the whole other life you could be out living with your single friends and all the attention you could be receiving from other woman, no strings attached. I however was still wearing my heart on my sleeve for you but that wasn’t a bump in the road to sway your mind. No longer feeling that love for me meant you had to be selfish and think about what would make you happiest. So I accepted that it wasn’t me, and with what felt like was a never ending pain in my chest I watched you move on.

If you’ve ever had your heart broken guy or girl whilst still being madly in love then I just want to say I’m sorry from the bottom of mine, It’s up there with one of the worst feelings to encounter. 

One of the hardest things you will have to do is grieving the loss of a person who is still alive.

I of course will love you always, I just need to realise that you aren’t the person for me, at least not right now.  I feel like in ten years to come we will both have experienced so much and lived an absolutely crazy life and will bump into each other at some point and manage to find the chance to talk for hours on end. I can’t wait for that day to come, but for right now I think I need my time and space to move on properly. At least thats what my head is telling my. My heart says go for it, you’ll never regret it! Just do it! Otherwise I’ll never know what could’ve been.

So here I am back to stage one.

I know I will always love him, he’ll always hold a special place in my heart, so for now lets hope for happiness.